THE "CRYING" GAME – Tackling Mental Challenges in Junior Tennis

Tennis is as much a mental game as a physical one, and this truth becomes painfully evident for many junior players when they step onto the court. Mental struggles—stress, pressure, negativity and a lack of confidence—can lead to feelings of helplessness, self-doubt, and frustration. 

For these players, and there are many like this, it’s so overwhelming that it affects their results every time they compete. This mental anguish is not limited to junior players; even seasoned competitors struggle with it. So, how do we address this challenge?

The Baby Analogy

Let’s think about a baby for a moment. When a baby is uncomfortable—hungry, tired, on danger—it cries. Crying is their way of signalling to their caregiver that they need help. It’s instinctive, it’s their only way to communicate that something is wrong.

Now, here’s the problem: many people never truly grow out of this stage. Even as they age, their first response to discomfort, failure, or challenge is to seek external help or to vent their displeasure. In tennis, this translates to throwing tantrums, slamming racquets, or showing visible frustration when things aren’t going their way. Essentially, they’re still “crying,” looking for some kind of external rescue.

The Solution Seekers

On the other hand, there are players—even at a young age—who seem to grow out of this crying stage quite early. Instead of seeking external validation or expressing frustration outwardly, they develop the ability to look inward and seek solutions to their problems.

These players face the same challenges and discomforts as anyone else, but their approach is different. They ask themselves:

• “What can I adjust?”

• “How do I change my tactics?”

• “What is this match teaching me?”

They remain composed and focused, using their mental energy to solve problems rather than dwell on them. But most importantly, it's that they have already learned that nobody is coming to help. The solution has to come from them, and them alone.

The Importance of Developing Mental Maturity

The transition from a “crying baby” mindset to a solution-oriented one is critical for success in tennis—and in life. A meltdown on the court doesn’t just impact the match at hand; it sets a pattern for handling adversity in future matches. Players must learn to address problems in matches constructively; it's a habit that must be formed.

Here are a few steps to help young players (and their parents and coaches) encourage this growth:

1. Acknowledge Emotions, but Don’t Dwell on Them
If you're competing, you're going to face negative emotions. It’s okay to feel frustrated or upset. The key is acknowledging the emotion without letting it control you. Acknowledge it, then move forward.

2. Ask the Right Questions
"Every mistake is a mental mistake first, and then becomes a technical error". It's important to understand whether the mental condition that caused the error was a case of fear, anxiety, a drop in confidence or simply a lack of focus. Whatever the issue, it must be fixed. You must start applying the antibody to that particular problem.

• “What caused that error?”

• “What must I do differently next time?”

• This shifts the focus from blame to action; baby response to solution response. This will be a huge shift in your mentality.

3. Practice Problem-Solving in Training
Create practice scenarios that mirror the emotional and mental challenges of a match. For example, set up drills where players are intentionally placed under pressure and teach them how to respond calmly and strategically. This is the essence of the 3 am Theory, and if you can adopt the 3 am principles in your training it will help with the mental mindset shift.

4. Model Composure
Coaches and parents play a vital role in shaping a player’s mental habits. If adults react emotionally or harshly to mistakes, players are more likely to emulate that behaviour. Instead, model calmness and problem-solving.

The Bigger Picture

Tennis is a microcosm of life. Players who learn to seek solutions instead of “crying” when things go wrong will carry that mindset far beyond the court. They’ll become resilient, adaptable, and confident in the face of challenges.

For young players struggling with mental issues on the court, it’s important to remind them:
The game doesn’t define you. Your reaction to the game does.

Let’s guide our players toward becoming solution seekers—athletes who use challenges as stepping stones to growth, not a path to frustration.